There is a pain
That resides deep
In the inner recesses
Of who I am,
Or who I think my self
To be
I have always had
A sneaking suspicion
That there was something within
That was not in sync
With the way
I thought life should be . . .
Or that of my dreams
It is only recently
That I have come to
‘Almost’ accept this
Soulful malady,
But the acknowledgment
Is more than I wish to bear . . .
I/one can only imagine
What the medicine tastes like
I do want to “Fix It’,
But there also exists
A learned fear
Of not only the unknown,
But of the truth . . .
…..
My abiding trepidation and fear
Is that,
I am the one . . .
Yes the ONE
Who created, embraced and fed
This monster within me
I do know inherently
That I have the power
To overcome
All of these small things
Which I view as
Huge things,
But where exactly
Do I find the beginning
Of the pathway, the trail
That leads to my
Inner Magic?
I tire of this pain,
I tire of this delusion i have allowed,
I tire of the illusion
That says to me while
Whispering loudly
That I have not the ‘ways’ nor ‘will’
To effectuate the change
That I may get back
To my ‘Soul’s’
Ground Zero,
Where I am the hero
That saves my day,
And that of my world
Simply put,
I want to “Fix It” . . .
NOW . . .
For if I don’t
I will perish
And all that I have learned
To cherish
Will be melted down
In the cauldron
To a liquid stew
That has not the heartiness
Or body
That is lasting . . .
Perhaps a bit of regurgitation would suit me well
Should I pray,
Or should I “Fix It”?
© 23 January 2022 : william s. peters, sr.
http://www.iamjustbill.com
